Unmistakable – when you walked into a room
Unforgettable – with a laugh you made your own
Undeniable – the passion to live your dream
Unbelievable - to be blessed in knowing you
Jesse was frequently in my thoughts even though we weren’t in constant contact. I was thinking of him more often the last few months – between his big basketball game – his impending move – and text messages about his script.
I find these days – thoughts of Jesse are my constant companion. He’s there when I wake up and when I go to sleep. He’s by my side throughout the day. His voice – his enthusiasm – his unwavering belief in me will spur me forward to fulfill my dreams.
It’s not a cliché that Jesse’s spirit lives on. One needs to only look at how many lives he touched. And it won’t just be in the amazing foundation his family put together or the scholarship from his former boss – it is truly in each one of us that he’ll continue to thrive. His love – his intensity – his desire to always do his best – to go that one step farther – will inspire and push each of us to be our very best as well.
As he said in his last voicemail to me - "Hey this is Jesse T. and the place to be." We all wish your place was still on earth.
I love you Jesse – you will be forever missed.
What does this journal offer? A glimpse into my life. And what will I do on my journal? To quote the classic cartoon, Rabbit of Seville, "Yell & Scream & Rant & Rave"
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
In Loving Memory
Jesse came into our lives on a sunny day near the beginning of spring a few years back. He stepped off the elevator on the 4th floor at Grand St, resume in hand, hoping to land a gig. His bravado made an impression and luckily we had an opening. Jesse worked with us thru three projects – two features and a tv show.
I remember the first day I introduced myself to him. He was sitting near my desk – on the other side of the wall. It was memorable to me because I’m not known for talking much to anyone let alone introducing myself – but I was determined to change my shy ways so I took a chance and said hi to him. Jesse put me at ease immediately with his charming smile and firm handshake.
Jesse impressed everyone here because he was not just a hard worker – he was also a thinker. He wanted to learn. He didn’t simply do his job and go home. He asked questions. He paid attention to how things worked. He read the call sheets – he studied the production reports – he critiqued the scripts. He was a sponge – soaking in as much information as he could possibly contain.
We spent many late nights together – waiting for the tv show to wrap – eating Mooncake – doing our work. It was always a source of comfort when he was here as Jesse would frequently pop back to my area – checking to make sure I was doing okay.
Near the end of the tv show, we started prepping a new feature. The writer/director needed an assistant. My boss asked me to put together a list of candidates. Jesse was the 1st person on my list. I knew he’d excel if given a chance. This seemed to be the perfect opportunity for him. He got the job and over the course of six months we became more than co-workers we became friends. We leaned on each other for support during the long late stressful days & nights. Jesse helped me stay awake one particularly late night when I was prepping the script – coming back in from Nyack NY just to help me out – I didn’t even ask – he just showed up because that was the type of guy that he was.
I told someone yesterday I felt a little like Lucy to his Charlie Brown – he was often found at my cubicle – humping my wall – peppering me with his "daily barrage of bad jokes and uninhibited sexual references" - singing songs - practicing some rather impressively cheesy dance moves - talking about his woes with women – asking advice about work – discussing his dreams for the future - or just generally shooting the shit. My “door” was never closed for him.
For his birthday that year – I bought him a book entitled “What’s Going On Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask.” It seemed apropos. I wish I could remember the message I inscribed inside its cover – I’m sure it was something sarcastic and fun to make him laugh. We surprised him at the end of filming that day – in front of the entire crew - much to his embarrassment. Jesse was also the kind of friend who never forgot your birthday – trekking out to the great hinterland of Joisey for my 30th surprise party.
He had a great critical eye for scripts. When I finished my first spec – he was one of the 1st people I showed it to for comments. He read it right away, meeting me at the Starbucks down the street to go over it in minute detail. His opinion was invaluable. He helped make my script stronger. I was looking forward to being able to repay the favor by reading his 1st script when it was done.
Jesse once told me it was an honor to be reading my work but as always the honor was mine to have known him and be able to call him my friend. He will be forever missed. I love you Jesse - continue making magic and movies in Heaven.
Jesse came into our lives on a sunny day near the beginning of spring a few years back. He stepped off the elevator on the 4th floor at Grand St, resume in hand, hoping to land a gig. His bravado made an impression and luckily we had an opening. Jesse worked with us thru three projects – two features and a tv show.
I remember the first day I introduced myself to him. He was sitting near my desk – on the other side of the wall. It was memorable to me because I’m not known for talking much to anyone let alone introducing myself – but I was determined to change my shy ways so I took a chance and said hi to him. Jesse put me at ease immediately with his charming smile and firm handshake.
Jesse impressed everyone here because he was not just a hard worker – he was also a thinker. He wanted to learn. He didn’t simply do his job and go home. He asked questions. He paid attention to how things worked. He read the call sheets – he studied the production reports – he critiqued the scripts. He was a sponge – soaking in as much information as he could possibly contain.
We spent many late nights together – waiting for the tv show to wrap – eating Mooncake – doing our work. It was always a source of comfort when he was here as Jesse would frequently pop back to my area – checking to make sure I was doing okay.
Near the end of the tv show, we started prepping a new feature. The writer/director needed an assistant. My boss asked me to put together a list of candidates. Jesse was the 1st person on my list. I knew he’d excel if given a chance. This seemed to be the perfect opportunity for him. He got the job and over the course of six months we became more than co-workers we became friends. We leaned on each other for support during the long late stressful days & nights. Jesse helped me stay awake one particularly late night when I was prepping the script – coming back in from Nyack NY just to help me out – I didn’t even ask – he just showed up because that was the type of guy that he was.
I told someone yesterday I felt a little like Lucy to his Charlie Brown – he was often found at my cubicle – humping my wall – peppering me with his "daily barrage of bad jokes and uninhibited sexual references" - singing songs - practicing some rather impressively cheesy dance moves - talking about his woes with women – asking advice about work – discussing his dreams for the future - or just generally shooting the shit. My “door” was never closed for him.
For his birthday that year – I bought him a book entitled “What’s Going On Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask.” It seemed apropos. I wish I could remember the message I inscribed inside its cover – I’m sure it was something sarcastic and fun to make him laugh. We surprised him at the end of filming that day – in front of the entire crew - much to his embarrassment. Jesse was also the kind of friend who never forgot your birthday – trekking out to the great hinterland of Joisey for my 30th surprise party.
He had a great critical eye for scripts. When I finished my first spec – he was one of the 1st people I showed it to for comments. He read it right away, meeting me at the Starbucks down the street to go over it in minute detail. His opinion was invaluable. He helped make my script stronger. I was looking forward to being able to repay the favor by reading his 1st script when it was done.
Jesse once told me it was an honor to be reading my work but as always the honor was mine to have known him and be able to call him my friend. He will be forever missed. I love you Jesse - continue making magic and movies in Heaven.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Seems I'm down to posting once or twice a year. It isn't for lack of effort - I definitely visit my blog more often - hoping to write something. It isn't for lack of material - God knows there's been plenty of drama going on between now and last November. It is more this - at this juncture in my life I'm tired of complaining because i feel that is what my life has been reduced to - complaining - and nothing gets more old than incessant complaining about the same old shit day in and day out.
So I'll attempt to summarize and just point out the facts:
I was out of work during the entire writer's strike which proved to be a bumpy time in many ways. I found out I can't even garner an interview outside my chosen field - or find work even as a temp - which is unsettling to say the least. The best I could manage was some babysitting gigs. It was also during this time, without work, that my finances took a rather nasty nose dive requiring some creative juggling on my part to keep things afloat. My older blind dog hit a major rough spot with her health - various problems that all added up to a whole lotta dough and stress. Thankfully she's oodles better now. My own health decided now would be a good time to crap out as well, but that's a rather long boring story with lots of unsavory details. After much money and many doctor visits I'm in a healthier place than before. My condition is chronic and will require continued care but my overall health is more stable than it was pre-crapping out. Finances have improved as well.
Things in the love life department are eh. Still in love and all that mushy stuff but feeling the itch - after three years - to have more than what we do. Logistics seem to be creating rust in the mechanics of making it all happen though. I'm facing a decision - stay or move on - which I'm loathe to make.
Work is the usual insanity. My former boss man really went to bat and got me back to the world of the living after my health had relegated me to being a recluse. I ended up doing the feature I mentioned in my last post and to make things extra interesting juggled the tv show at the same time. I got to be on set - which I love - but now that the feature is done am back in the office - which loyal readers know I hate.
Movie was definitely more low-key than the last feature I worked on but it wasn't without its own set of dramas.
As for the tv show - we're in our final season - doing double our normal block of episodes which keeps us all in the gravy for a good long while. I was hoping, b/c after all hope springs eternal, to get on set for this final season - or at least more so than I've been allowed previously. I beat my drum loudly for this to happen. Alas it was not meant to be as here I am - chained and back to the original desk I had when I first started working with these guys over three years ago. I've also been forced to swallow a rather bitter pill (per one of our ep/writer's words) when it comes to some advancement I was led to believe I would get - it was instead handed off to an upstart PA with scant experience in the field. My bitter pill is still stuck in my throat. I'm looking for other work but when one is in a niche field with a niche job on the wrong side of the states - opportunities are few and far between. It may be time - once this job ends - for me to make a move back out to where I began my career in the first place. In the meantime, I'll continue working on my writing and look towards the future and not the past.
So I'll attempt to summarize and just point out the facts:
I was out of work during the entire writer's strike which proved to be a bumpy time in many ways. I found out I can't even garner an interview outside my chosen field - or find work even as a temp - which is unsettling to say the least. The best I could manage was some babysitting gigs. It was also during this time, without work, that my finances took a rather nasty nose dive requiring some creative juggling on my part to keep things afloat. My older blind dog hit a major rough spot with her health - various problems that all added up to a whole lotta dough and stress. Thankfully she's oodles better now. My own health decided now would be a good time to crap out as well, but that's a rather long boring story with lots of unsavory details. After much money and many doctor visits I'm in a healthier place than before. My condition is chronic and will require continued care but my overall health is more stable than it was pre-crapping out. Finances have improved as well.
Things in the love life department are eh. Still in love and all that mushy stuff but feeling the itch - after three years - to have more than what we do. Logistics seem to be creating rust in the mechanics of making it all happen though. I'm facing a decision - stay or move on - which I'm loathe to make.
Work is the usual insanity. My former boss man really went to bat and got me back to the world of the living after my health had relegated me to being a recluse. I ended up doing the feature I mentioned in my last post and to make things extra interesting juggled the tv show at the same time. I got to be on set - which I love - but now that the feature is done am back in the office - which loyal readers know I hate.
Movie was definitely more low-key than the last feature I worked on but it wasn't without its own set of dramas.
As for the tv show - we're in our final season - doing double our normal block of episodes which keeps us all in the gravy for a good long while. I was hoping, b/c after all hope springs eternal, to get on set for this final season - or at least more so than I've been allowed previously. I beat my drum loudly for this to happen. Alas it was not meant to be as here I am - chained and back to the original desk I had when I first started working with these guys over three years ago. I've also been forced to swallow a rather bitter pill (per one of our ep/writer's words) when it comes to some advancement I was led to believe I would get - it was instead handed off to an upstart PA with scant experience in the field. My bitter pill is still stuck in my throat. I'm looking for other work but when one is in a niche field with a niche job on the wrong side of the states - opportunities are few and far between. It may be time - once this job ends - for me to make a move back out to where I began my career in the first place. In the meantime, I'll continue working on my writing and look towards the future and not the past.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)