Is It Over Yet? - A Rant

Nope - still got one more month to go of hell on this movie. Working on this project has been like one long nightmare and I'll be glad when it is all done and in the can.

I don't have much that's good to say about this current job other than I'm employed and can thus keep the roof over my head and my animals fed and happy.

What sucks is at the end of all this - instead of being able to enjoy the finished product - all I'm going to see are the million daily fires and problems.

The million times my boss said to make the impossible happen when "no" just wasn't an option.

The million times I had to argue with the director or the producer about things like not being able to use a photo of Jimi Hendrix because we don't have permission from the photographer or Jimi Hendrix's estate.

The constant stream of "No you can't use that magazine. No you can't show that person's phone number. No we don't have clearance on SPAM. No you can't say D&D coffee tastes gross. No you can't take that photo of one of our former presidents and make it into a dart board."

"Yes I know it sounds ridiculous but we can't show the woman with the large tattoo of a tiger on her back because the tattoo artist holds the copyright to that work and he hasn't signed a release. I understand but it is my job to point these things out. What's that you say? You don't care and want me to turn a blind eye? Even though there's been precedent set with tattoo artists suing over how their work is protrayed? Yea I don't think that's gonna fly."

"Yes I know we need this famous magazine as a featured prop on Monday but I only got the mock-up today and the magazine hates it. They hate it so much they don't trust our graphic artist to fix it. They said maybe they can make one for us by Friday but no guarantees. Yes I know Friday is a union holiday and no one will be working. No they don't have to play ball with us. No they don't. No they don't. Because this isn't a product placement deal - its clearances and we're at their mercy. Because they have a magazine to put out and we aren't their top priority. Yes I'm doing my best. Yes I know its integral to the script and we're fucked without it. I'm doing my best. Make it happen no matter what huh? Okay....."

And so on and so forth.

I can't even justify the zillion hours I'm putting in - even to myself. Getting home with just enough time to get 4-5 hours of sleep before having to do it all over again the next day. The constant complaints and comments from my family and my boyfriend who just don't get what I do.

"Will you always have to work such long hours?" "Why can't you get benefits?" "I dont' understand why you can't join a union." "Why do you have to work through your vacation?" "You should be getting paid more." "Is it legal to have you work for so many hours?" "You're going to kill yourself if you keep up this pace." "Why can't we see you more often." "You're always tired when you're around us - we never get to enjoy your company."

Ahh showbiz.

Projects like this I hate cause they make me doubt why I stay in this fucking lunatic crazy business.

I wrote this in an email to a dear friend today and I think it sums up my life since I last wrote on blogger pretty well so I decided to post it:

Just so you don't think i dropped off the face of the earth and into an abyss.

Oh wait....I have!

I'm working at least 70-80 hours a week on this new movie. I'm bringing work home to do on the weekends. I'm getting paid shit and while everyone respects me and blah blah blah - i'm basically doing the job of an associate producer without the title, the credit or the pay. Its really starting to piss me off.

I'm never home. That sucks. I slept from 3A until 12:30P and I'm still exhausted. Fun stuff.

In the meantime I've been offered that agency job. $20K more a year plus bonuses and benefits. They even said they could take a month's notice - not including my two week vacation. But I still haven't given notice to my job or the other job the official okay.

Why is this you ask? Well I'd basically be black balling myself from working with any of these people ever again as I'd be walking off in the middle of a very hectic job where I'm responsible for way too many things. Did I mention I feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of work and things I have to juggle and keep straight every single day? People think I live in the office since I'm there so late every nite.

Plus I don't know that I want to work for these people. I met the second agent - the head agent - finally. He made me wait for two hours - granted he kept calling - but still. Then when he arrived, he basically harrassed our waitress. "What's good to eat here?" As she rattled off the items on the menu, he kept saying Next, Next. ie she would say sandwiches and he would respond "Boring, Next" and so forth. Plus all he talked about was money, money, money.

Basically he wants to be able to "exploit" (not that he used such an ugly word) his clients in as many ways possible for more money and bring in new clients to boot.

This is where I would come in.

But I really need the money and my hours are killing me so I don't know what to do. Rock and a hard place.

I haven't even finished my spec script for tv show yet cause I quite literally don't have the time.

I'm cooked.

Its too late for the fork - just hose me down and start over.

Yes today is National Underwear Day.

And in honor of the day, I've decided to put my underwear on inside out.

In fact, I was so ENTHUSED about this holiday, I practiced this feat last week.

Ahh the joys of flea brain.

In other news, our wrap party is tonite. My sis got us a free hotel room so we can party till late in the nite and not have to worry about getting home. Oddly enough, it is the same hotel I took my sunshine to last year and it just so happens she got THE SAME ROOM we had.

That'll be a tad bit weird.

Good times. Good times.

Going going gone.

It really was too good to be true.

I asked if the rumors about my being kicked out of my new fancy office were true.

I was told maybe possibly however they liked me where I was and didn't want to move me. If they had to, they'd let me know and put me back where I was or in a cubicle area.

The new director/writer on this new movie and the exec producer apparently threw a tizzy over the idea of my staying in the director's assistant's office (as its right outside the director's office) and without even telling me - moved my stuff.

I came in to find I'd been moved.

To a smaller space.

After the whole reason behind my initial move was because I was running out of space and innocently asked for a bigger filing cabinet or some shelves.

Now I'm in this claustrophobic nook with no hope of seeing the sun and no room for half my crap.

I was less than happy and said, in not the most understanding tone of voice, what happened, why have I been moved? I also pointed out that I didn't have enough room for all my stuff.

I was then basically berated for getting upset, for being ridiculous to think I could stay where I was, and that I was being ungrateful.

Sucks.

The PA who was made to move my stuff before I came in - popped over later on to apologize to me. He said he felt so sorry for me that they were moving me. Apparently I wasn't the only one that erroneously thought my moving into my own big office was a sign of my status being elevated or some such nonsense. I guess it was all just a sick tease.

So much for my own office.

Boss man popped in unannounced today. First time he's been in the office and off set in at least a month - maybe longer.

Didn't know I'd been moved. Silly me, I thought he'd been part of the decision to put me here.

And said they may need to move me - again. Probably back to where I was previously residing I would imagine.

Sigh.

Plus I FINALLY got my head outta my ass and started working on my spec script again today - only to be interupted umpteen million times by co-workers and my boss man's sudden appearance.

We start filming our final block of episodes next week.

After that I'll get about a month of wrap time.

It seems like all the chips are falling into place for another movie to start up once we wrap the tv show. Let's hope I'm working on that too.

Which of the five/six feature scripts I have is the one that'll be filmed - I'm not sure. I have an educated guess at best.

Been a bit busier at work - but still fairly slow. I find myself nodding off more often than doing work - basically because I lack any work to do. Which is why after talking to a friend - I slapped myself upside the head and took my script out to work on.

Get it done - she said. Write it out and even if it sucks - at least its written and can always be tweaked.

My apartment is almost done. Have to paint one more room and hang up some shelves and then TADA - it'll be done.

However in the meantime I need to find a way to torture my cat. She decided my new beautiful leather couch was her new scratching post and even with a thick ugly couch cover over it and trimmed nails - has still continued to cause marks to appear.

Of course she never does this while I am home.

I got some anti-scratching spray called Feliway which I hope will help.

I did the mature thing and upon seeing the damage promply burst into tears.

My little dog rushed over to comfort me when he saw me curled up on the floor in front of my previously pretty couch sobbing my eyes out.

Ahh life.

Exceedingly painfully horrifically slow at work these days. No looming clearance issues. No million re-writes of script pages. No tasks from boss man to rush over. I've got absolutely NADA to do. Which should be great - I should have that script basically done by now - right? Right? Right? ...........................well........haha.........ummm..........no. My mental funk and block is entrenched deeper than I was aware - now to just get that chisel out and hammer away.

The only good thing that's come out of this long stretch of downtime is I have my own semi-office instead of just a desk in an aisle.

I was running out of space to put my plethora of paperwork and innocently asked if the office had some spare storage stuff I could snag.

Apparently the powers that be had already discussed moving me prior to my request. I suddenly found myself packing up and moving to a more private and bigger corner of our office.

So now I have a semi-office. Big white painted brick wall in front of me. Four tall walls around me with some sorta privacy plastic over them and a small doorway but no door.

I actually liked where I was but I did need more room and a bit more privacy. Its hard to work on scripts when everyone and their mother is breathing down your neck to read what's on your screen.

During this long stretch of downtime from any actual work, while at work, I've been desperately trolling the internet for some relatively cheap furniture to fill my empty apartment. I did this in an attempt to avoid Ikea. I've also visited Kmart and Target more often in the last month than I do during an entire year.

Alas I was not successful. I had to go back to Ikea whether I liked it or not as I had to exchange more wrong pieces I'd been given for my closet system.

I figured I might as well make the best of it and check out their As-Is section since its right next to the Returns area. Plus on Wednesdays they give an extra 10% off purchases from As-Is.

Thankfully this turned out to be a wise idea as I netted a leather two seater couch and a lovely entertainment center for a significant discount off their original prices.

The real test however will be when the delivery truck drops off said purchases on Tuesday. Let's hope they arrive in one piece and no less scathed then they were at time of purchase.

Back from our second & final hiatus. I actually got some time off for a pleasant change. Granted I ended up working from home, but better to be at home than having to commute and work outta the office.

My new apartment needs some major help. It'll be all good as I used to say way back when - just gonna take a bit longer to get there.

Still working on my script - I haven't actually looked at it in about two weeks. I've hit the proverbial hump. I have my story lines all planned out - however executing them is proving exceedingly difficult. I had a friend in the office read it who's been giving me some pointers and a writer friend who said she couldn't see the story lines or arcs. A very bad sign indeed.

The writer on the show said he won't have time to read anything till we wrap so I still have some time to pull it together.

Let's hope inspiration slaps me upside the head so I can not only finish but have it make sense.

Ikea is the devil. I've been in the store before - three times just to browse and get ideas and once with my sister when she bought some knick knacks.

Tuesday was my first experience actually purchasing a product from them and what a fucking nightmare. It took at least three hours to make a purchase - THREE HOURS!

Totally insane.

It didn't help that basically every associate talked to me as though I was a five year old with no comprehension skills.

I was so frustrated, tired and stressed {especially after my move to my new apartment where I discovered everything single storage unti that was on the walls was removed by the previous tenant - leaving me with a single small closet and a tiny medicine cabinet and nothing else - not even a towel bar - sigh} I was literally begging them to let me go home. Please its been three hours, I just want to go home! It was ugly.

I ended up haviing to leave without my purchase to calm down because after being talked down to and belittled by at least five different associates, I was ready to blow up in a rather physical manner.

My sunshine took pity on me and went back in later on to fix their fuck-up and get me the correct items I had ordered and not the wrong ones.

Three hours.

And I was told by one of the jerk-off associates I should have alloted more time for my visit to them.

MORE TIME!

Insane.

Another huge fight. Another night of tears. Another day of fighting off these depressive and dark thoughts.

I feel like I'm spinning out of control.

I feel utterly alone.

I hope its all just a short melodramatic blip on my radar that will soon pass away.

But I know it just keeps getting worse.

The sadness.

The sheer despair that food nor sleep can wear away.

I'm not alone. I have friends. I have my family - to whatever fucked up extent they can be a family for me. I have my pets - my awesome loving fluffy animals who know something is just not right.

My bf or whatever he is right now is pushing me to the brink of sanity. The brink of reason.

The drama is too much to bear.

Heck even my friends are getting tired of it - they haven't said as much but I'm fairly sure they are.

One of my friends - after the last big blow-out fight I had with my bf - just hasn't been the same. We don't talk as often. I can't talk to her at all about my bf. I've barely seen her and forget the big joint get togethers with my friends and his - I haven't been able to get them all together - no matter how many times I try - since that last fight. I'm afraid this friend has reached her fill of me and my sunshine.

I got another friend in trouble at work today - however unintentional it was - she wrote from her work email and I of course responded with a rather long diatribe filled with many unsavory words that were caught by her job's email filter and well I'm not sure just what happened other than she's in trouble.

Its like I can't even talk to my friends about my life without my drama interfering in their lives - even though its my drama - it seems to fall on them like a wet wool blanket that's hard to lift off. Its like my life is too much for anyone to handle - this is what worries me. Even when I avoid drama - it still falls upon my doorstep.

I try to limit what I tell my friends. I dont' want to push them away but sometimes I so desperately need to just tell someone - anyone who will listen and understand what's happening - i just blurt it all out - babble and babble and babble. Just to know someone is hearing me and can help me just by simply being there.

I worry I'm going to be left all alone in this world.

With no friends or at least no one who really knows me - who I can talk to about everything and anything without worry of them ditching me and running away as has often been the case in my past of littered friendships.

With no lover, no husband, no bf, no partner.

With no family cause I barely have the shell of one now.

I can't talk to my family anymore about anything of importance - it just ends up biting me in the ass later on. I try to avoid them now or when I have to see them talk about little or nothing that's going on in my life.

Even when I make effort, its never enough. I'm never enough. Its never good enough.

Whether its true or not, that's how it feels.

I think this is why I miss M so much. For although he was a fucking asshole, he was always there. Every day for 8 years - day in and day out - he was there - he listened to me, he supported me, he was physically there for me. And now he isn't. He's moving away and in with his girlfriend and her daughters. I don't have anyone in my life who was there for me like he was. So now I spill when I can't hold it in any longer. I spill the contents of my head, of my worries, of my life onto those who listen.

but there aren't that many left now

There aren't many who know it all.

Only M knew it all. The history alone made it easy for him to understand and relate.

I isolated myself with him and now I'm paying the ultimate price.

Maybe I just don't know how to relate to people anymore.

Maybe I just don't know how to handle my own life.

Or maybe I'm just expecting too much.

I really don't know.

I can only be at this moment and hope the next day or the next or the next brings the living and enjoyment back into my being.

I've been published. I wish I could feel more excited. I should be esctatic. But all that's sticking with me as of this exact moment is for all the well wishes and congrats and great comments I've gotten - I had to call my own family to see if they'd bothered to even read the email I sent with the link to where my story resides and to find out not only that they had bothered but were too busy or just didn't care enough to send their congrats to me too.

They fucking suck. Some days I wish I could just walk away from them completely, but then I'd never see my nieces & nephews and I know that would suck worse.

Still working on the spec script - halfway thru Act Two.

I'm considering entering some stories I've written into the Writer's Digest contest.

I need to get back into the writing groove.

Also I'm moving!

Can't wait - I'm so sick of where I live right now. I had been looking into buying a condo - what a fiasco that was - give me another couple of years and a serious raise - then I'll consider it again.

I sign the lease on my new place in the morning.

Some days, like today, I feel bad about how much I bitch about my boss.

Considering all things he's a very nice guy.

He lets me be. He doesn't hound me about my work. He trusts me to complete the tasks I have before me.

All in all not a bad guy.

He even extended my pay on the movie for four weeks.

It could be much worse.

I'll try to remember all this the next time he talks to me like I'm an idiot in front of a group of people. =)

But seriously, I think I'm pretty lucky.

Dong, Shlong, Tits & Ass

Don't get too excited. I haven't decided to make this into a x-rated blog. One of the joys of my job is that I deal with clearances and standards & practices concerns when it comes to our scripts.

Yes I act as the script police.

And on the show I work for, we reference porn in almost every episode. The show's got a lotta horny men in it, what can I say.

In fact I deal with porn so much, the art department coordinator and I have dubbed the area where our desks reside as porn alley.

There's even a box of remote control playthings under one of the desks that one of the big porn congloms donated for our use on the show. To be returned, of course, at the end of the season.

Our art department coordinator keeps the box closed at all times. One of the reasons for this is because otherwise we'd have people looking at the goodies all day - as we had before she kept the box closed. The other is because apparently our cleaning person is a Jehovah's Witness and might have a stroke if she saw what we kept in said box.

On Wednesday I had a lovely conversation with a network exec about a scene that didn't "exist." The script hadn't been officially released to the studio and the network, but since we were filming the non-existent scene on Friday, I had to check and make sure the above listed words wouldn't get us in hot water.

So I got to read the "hypothetical" scene over the phone to the understanding gentleman on the other line.

Luckily they were all cleared for use. Then it was a matter of finding whether Shlong and Dong (titles abbreviated to protect the innocent) are real porn titles and if we could get said titles in time for Friday's shoot. Otherwise we'd have to "fake" it. Meaning the actor would hold a product other than the real one but we'd shoot it in a way where you couldn't tell it wasn't the real DVD.

See one of the joys of clearances is if you mention a product on screen and want to show said product, you actually have to be holding said product. If you aren't, it means you are misrepresenting the product - a big expensive no no.

For example last year, the main character improv'd a line about drinking a Caramel Frappuccino. But he was holding a generic coffee cop. Starbucks has Frappuccino trademarked so we had to go in and have the actor dub the line as Caramel Cappuccino.

Fun.

Anyway I finally got a literal moment to ask my boss about my being on set again. He said I was to stay in the office "for now." And so it goes...

Brainstorming some ideas. Hope to have at least an outline by the end of this week. At least. Everyone says I should use my free time at work to write, but I end up getting distracted. Once distracted, the train my ideas were on usually derails. Never to be righted again.

So it will be a challenge. But a good challenge. I need a goal. I need a deadline. Otherwise I simply flounder about without purpose or direction.

My dreams have been haunted with thoughts of my ex-fiance. Its been quite some time since we broke up. I don't know what's causing him to haunt my sleep.

Filming's been pushed till Friday. This is because the 2nd script (we shoot two at at time) didn't arrive until late last night and needs some work. Not to mention, even if it was in perfect condition, trying to prep an hour long show in oh about two days is basically impossible.

Our 1st AD (Assistant Director) was literally moaning all day while breaking down the script and trying to schedule it. His 2nd AD said he sounded like a woman having bad cramps. It was kinda funny the first time. The fifth time around however the horse was thoroughly beaten into dust.

On an up note, I think I put my foot firmly in the door on possibly writing for the show. I have no illusions I'll get a script assignment, but maybe I'll be lucky enough to help tweak some dialogue or even a scene! Who knows. I've been asked to write a spec for the show. I've been mulling over what to write since this show carries more characters than ER, but I know I can do it! (she says while nervously picking at her fingers)

With filming pushed an extra two days away, that gives me some extra time to talk with boss man about my status on set. Last I talked with our Assistant Unit Production Manager, she said he'd been inundated with comments about how well I was doing in the office. Apparently he's also pleased with my work and doesn't see why he should change things. Great. Sigh. Another six months of sitting in this God forsaken office. Well at least it should give me time to write - if I can shake these dreaded doldrums away.

Haha, also my boss - whom everyone loves - showed his not so nice side today in front of a bunch of people. He got all uppity with me about something that was totally not my fault and I in fact fixed. The other staffers were quick to thank me for my help after my boss belittled me. I got the impression they were rather shocked at his behavior.

Later on, after the meeting was over, one of them came over and said "Well that's a side of boss man we've never seen before." I was feeling kinda bitter at the moment so I replied with "Really, he's like that all the time with me. That's nothing new." To which the startled staffer said "Oh, well you must handle it well."

As if I have any other choice. Silly silly staffer.

Thanks to all the visitors who took the time to read my story. I haven't written fiction in quite some time and I hope this story provides enough impetus to allow me to finish some other pieces I have at home.

The tv show stopped filming on Friday. We're on a short hiatus. The crew gets time off on these hiatuses - I however don't get to reap this benefit. This is because while we aren't filming anything right now, we are still prepping the next block of episodes. They start filming next Wednesday.

The movie finished filming on Friday - wrap should take a couple of weeks at least. I missed the wrap party and heard mixed reviews on how awesome or horrible it went. Not having been on set, I didn't have an overwhelming urge to trek in and sit watching people I don't know have fun. I'm a bit of a wall flower and don't mingle well with strangers.

My ideal nite is spending time with my sunshine home and in bed - doing unspeakable things to each other and having loads of fun for free - no stress, some muss, but definately no fuss.

As to my ongoing saga of "Will I Ever Make It Back To Set?" - I haven't the foggiest of notions. I probably won't know until Tuesday nite when my boss says as he's leaving - "Oh yea, and be on set tomorrow at 7A." If only I'm so lucky!

What the hay - let's give this a go....

Creative Writing Assignment Courtesy of Shane Nickerson =)

The hotel had passed through several owners since it’s opening. One to the other - each more eager than the next to unload what sounded like a great deal.

The first, second, and third time - no one ever questioned why it was being sold - the price alone made it attractive to any prospective buyers.

But this fourth go around was starting to make people cautious. The price didn't seem so attractive anymore. The rumors had begun and wouldn't be quenched. It seemed the time had come to start advertising outside the normal range.

The ad for the property caught Henry's eye one day. He'd been seeking a place to invest in with his father. A place that would provide a home and a living. His mother's disappearance had haunted him and his father. While no one ever questioned them to their face, the whispers had grown to be more than Henry could bear. Change was a necessity he was willing to shell out their life savings to secure.

Henry convinced his father to buy the place sight unseen. His father's grief overshadowed his ability to put up a fight. He signed his name without even reading the contract.

Henry was overjoyed with his purchase. He didn’t notice what had become blatantly obvious to those who lived in town. This newcomer would learn soon enough, their sad nodding and shaking heads said. It is only a matter of time.

Business was decent. Enough to break even, but not enough to live in style. That was never the point though and Henry was happy for his new surroundings. His father even seemed to come back from the shadows. Interacting with people who didn't know their past made this life more bearable.

Henry hired a photographer to capture them in their high spirits and their new home. To immortalize this moment in their lives in case hard times should hit again. A reminder of how quickly things change - for the better - or so Henry thought.

The desks they'd placed out for a seminar the next night were empty. Not even paper had been placed inside them. Henry and his father posed by the front desk. Proud of their accomplishment and their new life.

The photographer stepped behind his camera. To his eye, he saw just another job.

In the flash of the bulb, Henry and his father's attention was drawn suddenly and harshly to those empty desks. In that flash the lids of the desk flew up and displayed the past they had tried to out run, the harsh truth of where and what had happened to Henry's mother, the ensuing capture of the criminal behind her murder, and the subsequent trial and execution.

Henry saw the glare of his own future and his father saw the true nature of his son.

It was over in an instant. The moment, the slideshow of their past, present, and future. But it was the last time Henry and his father would ever be together.

The hotel went back up for sale. But nowhere in the description was it advertised this peculiar building's ability to read people's souls and show them their fate.

After much procrastination, the dairy farm was finally chosen and filmed for the movie. There were some moments of panic when it looked like our chosen location might not get snow the rest of the year, but a storm swept through there yesterday giving us the window we needed to capture it.

My contact in Wisconsin wanted me to be present for filming, but that was never in the cards. I am still bound to my desk. Its been four weeks since we started filming on the tv show. Boss man had said it would be 2-4 weeks before I'd be out on the tv set, but there are no signs that's the case - even when the movie finishes in April - another 3 weeks from now.

Who knows. I could be wrong, but at this point I refuse to even consider it as a possibility after what happened. I had no reason to think I wouldn't be on set at the start of filming this season till that call from my boss. All signs and indicators pointed to my presence on set - same as last year. Heck when I was hired, I was told the job required me to be on set. Part of what made it so attractive.

That's not to say I haven't been busy - most days are a constant juggling act of different projects for both the movie and the tv show. But I can feel the cloud of depression floating over my head. Regardless of whether its justified by my circumstances or not - its hanging there. Keeping me from getting to work as early as I should. Weighing me down during the day. I wish I could snap myself out of it - I have a job, a job that keeps a roof over my head, but its not the job I had last year. And that's what is really sticking in my head. Its not a job I love anymore and I just don't know how to fix it.

I'm wallowing a bit.

Today is the second day of filming on the tv show.

And I'm not on set.

I don't know when I'll be on set.

I was told Friday evening at 6P that I'm being kept in the office - for at least the next 2-4 weeks - maybe longer.

The day before - on Thursday - I found out I was officially the script coordinator/writer's assistant on the show. This is in addition to my normal functions.

I was ecstatic.

Now I'm seriously depressed.

I can't do the functions of this particular job - which on most shows I would need to stay in the office - on this one however I need to be on set - while at this desk.

This desk I've been chained to since we stopped filming last August.

I'm hoping this is only temporary.

Right now all I can think of is what I gave up to take this job. The pay cut, the loss of benefits, vacation time, sick time, etc. The loss of sleep. The oodles of money I put out to create my own mobile office for being on set, the new clothes for whatever Mother Nature throws our way, for what now. I don't need any of it.

What was the point of giving me a blackberry - I haven't used it since I got it and I have to return it in about a month.

All I keep thinking about is how I wish I was on set - I feel like I've experienced some heady loss. And yes I know I'm being overly dramatic but this year has not been so good so far. This was something I'd been looking forward to for eight months so to have it ripped from me - even if only temporarily - is a major blow.

Dairy farms, snow footage and basketball.

These are the issues I've been dealing with of late - all related to the movie. Exciting stuff indeed.

The first script for the tv show came in this week - only a writers draft but its a start. Still need script two since we shoot two episodes at a time. Sounds bad but its very easy to manage in practice.

I've also been given the ultimate accessory - a blackberry. Part of a product placement deal with the movie. I haven't had much opportunity to use it as yet though.

The movie is keeping a permanent closed set to essential personnel only so I'm relegated to the office while my boss is on location every day.

But once the tv show starts filming in about two weeks, I'm sure my blackberry will become my new best friend since I'll be on set every day.

And I'm back on the movie's payroll. Seems I'll be double-teaming it for the next couple of months.

The boost to my salary, however temporary it may be, is greatly appreciated.

This sign of faith in my abilities is also a much needed boost to my sagging ego.

Maybe I'll end up with that on-screen credit after all! =)

The tv show is officially in pre-production and I'm officially off the movie's payroll.

While the majority of my work is still for the movie, my boss plans to move me over to the tv show full time once scripts start coming in and the start of filming gets closer.

He is considering the idea of my working both projects simultaneously which would mean an increase in my salary for about two and a half months, but I don't know if or how that will work out.

I'll be sad if I don't end up continuing with the movie. Its probably petty, but I was hoping to get a credit. That and I've never worked a feature film before. I was looking forward to the experience.

In the meantime, doing what little work I have each day has been difficult the last two weeks. Major drama on the parental unit front involving the sizable PLUS loan they took out for my education at NYU and some false documents my father refuses to admit he created in the face of indisputable evidence. Couple that with his continuous threats of Sallie Mae coming after my ass if he defaults - which are so not true Sallie Mae sent me something in writing to prove it - and its just been an ugly ugly mess.

Its somewhat resolved, but I don't think the bitter end will happen for some time to come.

It also made crystal clear to me that they don't support what I do for a living. I was told I need to stop "playing games", get a job with benefits and security and become an adult.

Gee mom & dad, you mean all six years of slaving in this industry were nothing but fun and games and I never knew it!?!

How silly of me.

Back from the holiday break. Work is going okay. Trying to shake out the cobwebs that have gathered during my downtime. Seems much busier already and I hope it stays that way. I'm a much happier camper when I'm kept busy at work. Idle hands are most definately the devil's playthings in my world.

My boss got a me a very nice xmas gift. It was such a pleasant surprise to receive my package at home after thinking I had been forgotten. I was glad to be acknowledged after all our ups and downs and would have been thrilled with a simple holiday card. But the present, and iPod Nano, was the icing on my holiday cake.